and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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