people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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