Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize