I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
