Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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