Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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