Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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