his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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