I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
