Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
