Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
