Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
