I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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