Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
