Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
