I seem to have left my pride at pride
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
