You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
