I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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