I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
