I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
