you traded sex for a burrito?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
