from now on my penis is your penis
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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