: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
