is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
