i just google imaged poop.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
