My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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