Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He felt like a one man threesome
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize