You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
my poor anus
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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