ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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