he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
