i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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