Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is Oprah even human
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
