You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
