You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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