Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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