I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
