I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
