just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I got inside last night via doggy door
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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