That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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