He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
