i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
