No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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