Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
