Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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