I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
