My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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