it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
