remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
