he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
