you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize