Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
