Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
