Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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