have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We had to coat check the pizza.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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