its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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