party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
