just come out here and I will go home with you...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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