Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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