Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
