There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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