Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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