Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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