oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm at about main and main street
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
