i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize