I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
