ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
