i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
