I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize