How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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