im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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