When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Nicole vs. Life
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
