Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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