Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize