Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
